The Way Back to Love
- Martin Jarvis
- Jun 19
- 4 min read
I’ve spent much of my life studying The Art of War — not just reading it, but living it. I was raised in a family that played chess, sparred in debates, and honored the rhythm of discipline.
We were a military family — my father served in WWII, Korea, and Vietnam. My siblings and I served, too — in wartime and peace, across continents and causes. I began martial arts at 14, competed well into my 30s, and even fought once in Japan. My mind, my movement, and my decisions were shaped by what I learned.
To this day, I’ve probably read or listened to The Art of War over a hundred times. It’s become part of how I think — not because I recite a line here and there, but because its truth has soaked into my bones. I don’t have to quote it; I live it. And looking back, I can see how many of my life decisions were informed by it — without even realizing.
That’s why I notice when people pull a single phrase from something deep — like The Art of War or the Bible — and turn it into a weapon or a slogan. A sentence here, a concept there. It’s one thing to quote wisdom. It’s another thing to let it shape you.
I’ve studied the Bible with the same seriousness — not casually, not selectively. I’ve read various interpretations, spent time with people of different traditions, and wrestled with contradictions. I’ve had conversations with folks who were quick to condemn others based on one verse — while ignoring the ones that might ask more of them.
One man in particular spoke so harshly about others not “living right,” all while living on disability and not working. Eventually, I asked, “Doesn’t scripture say, ‘If a man doesn’t work, he shouldn’t eat?’” He got angry. Said I lacked love.
But I wasn’t judging him. I was inviting him to be honest with himself. Because if we’re going to hold others accountable to scripture, shouldn’t we start by holding ourselves?
That’s why grace is so vital. We’re all judged by the same measure we use on others — not just spiritually, but socially.
What we give, we receive. What we sow, we reap. Karma, chickens coming home, what goes around — whatever you call it, the principle remains.
It happens with religion, too. People grab onto selective verses or traditions — sometimes out of habit, sometimes out of fear — and use them to justify themselves while rejecting others. And that’s dangerous. It creates division where love was meant to live.
Some even use religious identity as a kind of spiritual superiority — claiming sacred promises while ignoring sacred responsibility.
I’ve heard all kinds of things — including debates over who the “real” Jews are, or who the “chosen” people are. And I don’t get into all of that. Because what’s the point of being chosen if it just makes you cruel to others?
We’re all human. And we all need grace.
The real problem comes when people confuse religion with God. When we forget that God was here before books, before temples, before rituals. We — humans — created religion to try to understand the divine. And somewhere along the way, we started worshiping the tools instead of the truth they were pointing to.
Even scripture warns us not to worship what our own hands have made. But that’s exactly what we’ve done. We’ve elevated books and buildings and institutions higher than the love they were supposed to teach us.
That’s where so much hurt has come from. The wars. The slavery. The prejudice. The hate. The control. All of it often in God’s name — but rooted not in divine love, but in human misunderstanding.
As we grow spiritually, we have to rise above those misunderstandings. We have to stop worshiping what we created — and start living what we were created for.
And that’s love.
To me, it’s like this: Imagine a father with children all over the world. Some of them have never met. They speak different languages. They call him by different names — Father, Abba, Papa, Daddy. But he loves them all. He doesn’t want them fighting about who knows him best. He wants them to love each other.
Isn’t that what Jesus taught when he said the greatest commandment is to love God — and love your neighbor as yourself? Love your Father. Love your siblings. That’s the essence of it all.
We created holy books to try to explain our place in the universe and our relationship with the Creator. But when we let those books divide us — when we use them to hurt each other — we’ve missed the point. We’ve put more faith in our understanding than in the love that created us all.
So here’s what I believe: The Creator was before all things. And everything that brings us closer to love, to peace, to justice — that’s where God is. And if we say we love God but can’t love each other… then we’ve missed the whole message.
Let’s get back to the beginning. To love.
Because in the end, we were never meant to worship the tools.We were meant to love like the one who made us.
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